Am I weird?

Why is everyone so obsessed with penetration intercourse? I don't get it, maybe because I'm asexual? I'd much rather cuddle, have my tits groped, massaged and sucked on, have my fat kneaded and carassed and be fed as my crotch is buried in my fat. That's what I want? Someone who is more interested in teasing me and making me feel huge and embarassed yet also sweet, not someone who wants to shove their dick in me?